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Luigikuik

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Everything posted by Luigikuik

  1. Angel Pine goodness at Pizza Stack From the SAAN crab Desk ''Get your fresh delicious Seafood. Dungeness crabs'', shouted a man advertising his food at Pizza Stack. It was quite an unusual day for the people around Pizza Stack. Normally they would enjoy pizza and or chicken, but this time they could enjoy fresh crab and lobster. The people from Angel Pine fisheries sold their goods from a truck at Pizza Stack and were soon out of supplies. The lobsters were almost immediately sold out, as well as the butter sauce. Our reporter spoke with the owner and asked him if Pizza stack knew that they were selling food on their property. He stated that he has a permit from Pizza Stack to stand here with his food truck and that he finds it amazing that a large company like Pizza Stack would support a small company like his. Our reporter asked customers what they thought about the food and one of them said that the crab legs were delicious, but that it would have been better with the butter sauce. They go out on sea every two days to catch lobsters and crabs. They are happy to take on private work if you want them to catch something specific. They are currently recruiting as well. We hope that they won't be raided by Somalian pirates. Want more SAAN? saan.news
  2. The competition is killer out there you know.
  3. Los Santos releases battle royale mode From the SAAN meme desk ''I will throw bomb!'', shouted an angry taxi driver at the Fortnite battle bus. On the twentieth of June a very unusual bus was driving people around Los Santos and Red County. The bus named the Fortnite battle bus spammed several soundtracks of the game Fortnite to get everyone's attention. It clearly worked since the bus was almost entire full. A local taxi driver however wasn't amused by the bus. He continued to harass the bus driver and threatened to throw bombs and shoot the people inside. The bus stopped in Palomino Creek when the Taxi driver parked his taxi in front of the bus and got out with a baseball bat. He hit the side of the bus multiples times. The people inside of the bus got out and citizen's arrested him while the police was called. The taxi driver shouted that he was angry at the bus driver, because he ruined his company since no one wanted to take a taxi. He claimed that he could no longer feed his family. The police didn't show up at first and half of the group began to wander around in Palomino. The taxi driver was released and acted like he would leave the scene. He later showed up in an alleyway and groped a woman from behind trying to strangle her. The nearby people came to the rescue and tackled him, knocked him unconscious. He was pinned down to the ground while the group gathered again, once again calling the police. A single officer arrived at the scene and told all the witnesses to leave the scene, without questioning them. The bus journey ended as it became the centerpiece of a Santa Maria Beach car meet. The Taxi driver has been arrested. Want more SAAN? click here. saan.news
  4. Pre-ordering it right now!
  5. Name: B.Dewitt Comment: This was all the information we could gather since the PR department of the PD isn't replying. SAAN isn't actually a big company at all it's just me and some friends really.
  6. Police kidnapped From the SAAN news desk ''We don't negotiate with terrorists.'', said a detective who shot and killed one of the hostage takers who sneaked up on him. On the seventeenth of June our reporter made a shocking discovery. A police officer was kidnapped by a criminal organisation and the hostage takers used her radio to demand stuff strait out of an action movie. They were willing to trade the life of the officer for a getaway vehicle, more guns, and loads of money. A getaway vehicle would be parked under the highway from Los Santos to Angel Pine. Our reporter came across this vehicle and the detective guarding it shouted that our team needed to move on. Our reporter drove further and looked trough his camera at the scene and saw a masked man appear from under the bridge. The man creeped up to the officer and tried to subdue him. The officer grabed his handgun and shot the hostage taker and killed him. More police rushed in to secure the scene. The hostage was still nowhere to be seen and was declared MIA at the time. The police has yet to contact our staff about how the hostage situation ended, so we have to speculate on this part. We assume that the hostage has been saved and that the other hostage takers have been killed. The place where the hostage was held is unknown to us. Some speculated that it was an other attempt to ruin things by Antifa. We from SAAN however think that they had nothing to do with it, but that it was a get rich quick scheme by a criminal organisation that went horribly wrong for them. We honour the officers that put their lives on the line to save their colleague and made sure no bystanders were hurt in the crossfire. The PR department still needs some work though. Want more SAAN? saan.news
  7. Name: Destroyer 26 Comment: My family was killed by assault bikes. I hope the people finally open their eyes.
  8. `Name: Bruce Dewitt Comment: I called the police for more information about the hostage situation at least twenty times but I have yet to be called back. We are currently working on that article with the information we do have. If someone has more information regarding the situation please leave a comment or email me.
  9. Horrible crash leaves two dead From the SAAN news desk ''This is one of the worst scenes i had seen in over three years.'', said Deputy Chief Steven Ramos to our reporter when he was asked about the scene. Just before midnight on the seventeenth of June our reporter came across an horrific scene. A fatal crash between a couple on a motorcycle and a BoTS employee claimed the lives of the couple. The BoTS employee had some serious injuries but survived. The reason for the crash is unknown, but a witness stated that he saw the couple on the bike speeding on multiple occasions. He also stated that the couple didn't wear any helmets. The medics on scene couldn't do anything for them and they died on the spot. Our condolences go out for the friends and family of the couple and we hope this will be seen as a warning for people who drive recklessly. If you are part of the public relations department of the Police Department could you be so kind to send me an email at [email protected]? No one seems to return my calls. Read more SAAN here! saan.news
  10. or use /look but I dunno
  11. Name: B.Dewitt Comment: Eh, can people stop acting like kids in the comment section of a fucking news site. Thank you.
  12. Fire, explosions and trailer parks From the SAAN news desk ''You didn't found the drug you needed and then burn it, lil shit.'', said a trailer park inhabitant to a cop when he was being arrested for assault. In the Late night of June the twelfth a giant smoke cloud was spotted by our reporter coming from the prison. The prison itself was not on fire but the trailer park near it was. The firefighters were trying to keep the flames from spreading, but the entire place was already on fire. They selflessly saved the inhabitants who were stuck in their burning houses. The gas canisters of the houses got so hot that they started to explode, endangering the firefighters even more. The trees surrounding the trailer park caught fire and one of them came down falling just next to a fire engine. It took the Fire Department just under an hour to put out the entirety of the fire. While the Firefighters were fighting the fire a drunk driver broke through the barricades and started to drive all over the place. He came to an halt when he drove into one of the trailers. He has been taken to the hospital and he was in a critical situation. The owner of one of the trailers got upset that he lost his house and blamed the police at the scene for it. He shouted that they did it since they were corrupt. He started fighting the people on the scene and he got detained. That didn't stop him from accusing people. While he was getting helped into a police car he claimed that our reporter was the one that actually did it. It would be impressive if he could do it from all the way from Los Santos. The cause of the fire is currently under investigation by the Fire Department. Luckily no one died in this incident and the firefighters bravery saved many lives today. Want more saan? click here! saan.news
  13. *Bruce Dewitt enters the courtroom while wearing a black suit and orange tie. He walks towards the Defendant's desk and sits down.*
  14. Rooting for you guys. good luck.
  15. name: B.Dewitt comment: the larger part of the article is about someone getting beaten though.
  16. Don Pinto egged by kids From the SAAN egg desk? ''Who did this?!'', shouted Don Pinto who just received an egg to his head. The ninth of June was yet another eventful day at Idlestack. A lot of violence and vehicle crashes kept the emergency services occupied. Our reporter found a man lying unconsciously on the street near stacks. Even though there were many people who saw the man, no one called the police about it. This is a classic case of the bystander effect. The man got treated and it turned out he was heavily beaten. The people who did it remain at large. Don Pinto from Action News Around Los Santos also arrived at the scene and started taking pictures. A group of kids looked at him and acted nervously. Then one of them suddenly pulled out a egg and tossed it at Don. The egg went just past our own reporter's head and hit Don's head. The people watching couldn't believe what happend, but most of them could agree on that it was hilarious. The motive of the kids is unknown. The most likely reason is that it was just a harmless prank. Want to read about the latest terrorist attack? click here! saan.news
  17. Name: B.Dewitt Comment: I was gone for two hours what the fuck happend.
  18. Name: B.Dewitt Comment: Finally the days of Antifa terror are numbered.
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